me, drinking tea: pls leaf water….sage my body of the demons of my past…steam my colon…let me know peace
me, drinking coffee: I beg of u bean juice….cleanse me of the curse of sleep….make my heart beat like a tribal drum in ceremony….let me conquer this building
Apply to a job, wait (1) day, then call. Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application.
When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly, tell them your first and last name.
Describe your experiences as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years] costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.
Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.” “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”
When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now).
Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.
When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy.
If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)
Questions for after the interview:
1. Does this position offer upward mobility?
2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)
Then, shake their hand, Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it.
AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices.
DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone. In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate.
__________
The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com and Simplyhired.
if you didn’t believe that England hates Donald Trump already: the most recent news of his visit today is that the mayor of London approved protestors releasing a £16,000 Trump in-a-diaper balloon to fly 98ft above ground when he visits, and literally no British person is surprised. Welcome to London.
I’m literally not kidding
the people who are managing the balloon are called trump babysitters. I’ve never loved my country more.
i fucking love this country. Trust us to make the president feel welcome
the best part about this is that trump expected to have a royally welcome visit but as soon as he made an appearance, thousands of angry British people started chanting “fuck trump!” on repreat for hours.
UPDATE: Trump has managed to generate a bigger crowd than Obama did, but for all the wrong reasons. The entirety of London is filled with angry anti-trump protestors, to the point where he is refusing to make an appearance due to fear for his safety.
Here are some fucking awesome protest signs being shown today. I hope we’ve made you proud!
This is my friend TJ, wearing a costume she made for Halloween, 1977. She was 16 at the time.
Now, keep in mind: there was no internet to search for images. She could not have rented and paused the movie, because it wasn’t released on video until 1982. No, TJ just went to the movie a bunch of times, took notes with a flashlight, drew a bunch of sketches, and put this together.
In 19-fucking-77. So let’s bury this bullshit about how women didn’t grow up on Star Wars.
something that’s annoying about the whole corporate pride merch discourse is how people respond like “oh so i can’t buy a rainbow shirt now??” etc. But, firstly, no one is saying that. If buying a pride shirt from somewhere like amazon or target is all you’re able to afford or that’s available in your area, then obviously feel free to do so and don’t worry about whether or not you’re “valid” (buying pride merch from big companies isn’t any worse than buying other stuff anyway)
but if you do have the means and access to do so, then a much better way to get cool pride stuff is to buy it directly from lgbt artists (either the tons that are on tumblr, or local artists who have booths to sell from at places like arts shows and pride fests) or buy merchandise from the online stores of reputable lgbt non profit charity and advocacy organizations. That way you can get your rainbow shirts, but at the same time you also get to actually contribute to supporting the community in some way rather than giving your money to corporate overlords who will just use it to exploit workers and the environment
Revel & Riot (nonprofit that makes tshirts and donates partial proceeds to lgbt orgs, often collabs with lgbt musicians)
Equality Florida (lgbt advocacy organization that lobbies against discriminatory laws and promotes legal changes that will benefit lgbt people, also played a big role in helping after the pulse orlando shooting)
OnePulse Foundation (nonprofit fund set up by the owner of the pulse nightclub to help rebuild, support victims, and build a memorial)
Lambda Legal (nonprofit legal advocacy organization that does impact litigation for lgbt people and people with HIV)
Pride at Work (represents lgbt workers and union members)
it’s also a good idea to look for lgbt orgs in your local area or state that likely sell their own pride merch like buttons and tshirts, since orgs at a local level are often the ones who need contributions the most and who will directly benefit your community the greatest
and if you are going to buy any corporate pride merch, still try to get it from companies that are donating 100% of the profits to lgbt orgs (some ones i know that do this are levi’s and converse) and make sure to check that the orgs they’re donating to are actually legit ones)
there’s not a ton of merch but the southern poverty law center is selling y’all means all shirts!! and equality texas has a few shirts as well and i know they do a ton of great work!
Oh my god I want a “Y’all mean ALL” shirt so bad…
Anyone who follows me and wants one, I will buy you a Y’all means All shirt as a gift in honor of this month. Just message me with your information.
